As some know, over two years ago, my then wife filed a restraining order against me, falsely accusing me of physically abusing her. As a result of her lie, I not only lost everything, but anyone I felt close to, at the time.
The day after she filed this restraining order against me, she moved in with a desired lesbian lover, who also falsely accused her own husband at the time of physically abusing her some years ago.
I remain homeless, and presently live with other homeless veterans.
Out of all that I lost due to this lie by the ex wife, my greatest loss has been that of my daughter Hayley. Predictably, our relationship has become progressively fractured, since her mother decided to try and destroy me, with a small army of like minded women she recruited for that purpose.
In the two years that followed the eviction from my own home, I have hand wrote my daughter once a week. Rarely did she ever write me back. I have Hayley's email, but I do not have her phone number, nor does she wish to share that information with me.
During the past two years, I have wrote articles, describing not only what has happened in my life, but also about the true nature and disposition of my ex wife. These articles were widely read, and received a lot of criticism.
Some believed the content i composed in these articles were full of lies. Others praised me for my bravery, for sharing my pain with the world.
Out of desperation, I decided to finally share these articles with my daughter via email. I asked her to email me back, and this is what she wrote me.....
I'm conceerned about her anger and use of foul language, but I'm also impressed with her overall vocabulary.
The lies she has been told by her mother and others are quite obvious, with what she wrote me. While painful, this did not shock me as much as you would expect. This is parental alienation at it's finest, folks. It is my hope Hayley will re-acquire a relationship with me, when she is older:
You want an email? Fine. Ill give you an email.
Stop acting like YOUR the victim here. Your not. If you are looking for a reason why your family is so fucked up I'm sure there's a mirrior somewhere. You send me links to your blog about your girlfriend, and how mom is a lesbian and how you were blamed for molestation when I was younger.
You know what? You know what that means? It means I'm not your daughter. I'm just another person who reads your blogs. Another one of your pathetic audience you try and obligate to pity you.
You send me pictures and your stupid ass love letters from you to carol and carol to you but frankly I don't care. Not one bit. If your going to contact me, have some decency to at least ACT like you care about me.
I'm not stupid and I know your only trying to get to mom through me. Don't you know how much that hurts? Your ruining my life. I sat on the bus the other day, on the way home CRYING because I sat there and read an article you sent me.
Every single one, actually. And it sickens me to the core. We may have established a father daughter relationship but that's over. I want no more. When I get an email from you, I wanna hear about how much you miss me and wish you could see me.
Not about your heaps of LIES you tell to get sympathy from every fucking person who absentmindedly reads your articles. Unfortunetly, I'm one of those people. However, other than the others,
I know EXACTLY what your talking about and I know just as well as you do that its all BULLSHIT. Every. Single. Thing I have sent to you has been from me. And if you won't believe that, then writing to you is POINTLESS.
I obviously haven't, and I'm not going to. I could go for hours about this but its a waste of my time. Metaphoricly speaking, Your not the victim. Your the murderer. And I hope that all your little friends know damn well that's true.
Oh, and for the record, this is Hayley. Not mom. If you want me to prove it to you then fine. But I'm sick of getting hurt by you. Your supposed to be MY father, however, mom's boyfriend, is more of a father to me than you EVER were. Goodbye. I'm done with you.
-Hayley
Dear Hayley...
ReplyDeleteyou don't know me, and you never will. About ten years ago, my four kids stated to get pulled away from me slowly an methodically by their dad. He was afraid I would keep them away from him when we were going through our divorce. I never would have, but he was afraid I was going to.
He did all kinds of things to turn my kids away and finally they were gone.
My three daughter and one son, who were once the center of my life were strangers to me. One day in one of the last phone calls, my oldest daughters called me and told me she I wasn't her mother any more... her father's girlfriend was her mother.
I felt like I had died. I had no reason to live. I hid under my blankets and took every anti-depressant there was. I sent gifts, emails, letters, and they all came back. I tried everything, but every time I put my hand out, it was slapped.
I wondered if they really cared anymore... if they hated me so much, because I loved them more than my own life. I just didn't know what to do any more. I was afraid that if I didn't do everything right, they would think I abandoned them. I never, ever want them to think that.
Sometimes as a parent we just don't know what to do. We wish kids would give us a road map. We know you are hurt. We are hurt too. We want to go through this together but it seems like every time we try, we get rejected. We will keep trying because we love you, but all we want is to know what we can do.
I kept trying and my kids finally told me what they wanted. I was lucky. Today, we all live and love together. We don't look back in the rear view mirror. We remember the good memories and forget the bad.
I wish the same for same for you Haley. I know you may not want that right now, but maybe one of these days you will when your heart is ready for it.